A Life - In a Day! (Not really)

Hi Guys, thanks a lot for the fantastic response that I've got from a number of you. Sometimes, as an auteur, it's easy to feel disconnected from your public. Anyway, I've been asked if a documentary team can follow me around for a couple of weeks next spring, and I'm giving it a thought, so accordingly the producers asked if I could give them a run-down of a day in the life of this here Mr. Joe Average, cinema dept ;). I thought some of you guys might be interested in the rough-cut of my day to day life:

6:15AM: Wake up. Shower. Meditate in sun-room for 20 mins.
7:15 Large bowl of All Bran. Persimmon. Custard Apple (though these have been giving me gas, so lately I've been eating nashi pears instead). Double decaf Nespresso. Double Nespresso. Chocolate Éclair. Dry yoghurt. Grapefruit juice. I try and eat quickly, focussing only on what is going into my mouth next. But I'm a busy guy and don't want to waste time: eat fast and live hard has always been a motto (although I've been thinking of changing this to 'eat hard and live fast').
7:30 Pack lunch - I try to eat the driest food I can, but combine it with a drink, and mix it together in my mouth. I always feel a greater sense of involvement with the food if it's still getting itself together once I've ingested it. So, dried fruit, (more) dried yoghurt, Dasani water (endorsement deal), milo, milk (ingested separately). Get dressed.
8:00 Go outside and start car so engine warms up (this greatly reduces engine wear and tear)
08:45 Drive down the studio offices.
09:00 Meet Sherilynn (PA) and have another decaf Nespresso. She'll go through my appointments for the day. Usually start at 0930 but today it's an easy morning - first meet 0945, but it's an important meeting: Coke's product placement rep is wanting to chat about the possibility of getting some product into my Ancient Egypt project. At present they're wanting us to develop a Coke heiroglyphic. Terry, the art designer for the film is a bit of a wag, and said we should get drawing with it coming out of an ancient Egyptian Mummy's arse with 'you can't beat the feeling' written next to it - RLMFAO at that one!! I still said no, however.
11:00 Big Meeting: Todd Beamer's wife and agent - I've got the job of convincing her that the sitcom is going to be a fair and accurate portrayal, and that, though the flight attendants are definitely gonna be hot, there's not going to be any actual infidelity beyond, in the words of one producer "that fag giving him more rum and nuts than is really normal".
13:00 Lunch - and a passagiatta. Digest the morning and wet-dry combo lunch.
13:30 Meet my Agent and close friend Simone Buchanan. This will probably drag on as she's having some troubles at home and I'm trying to give her some emotional support (her family sounds like a real nightmare!)
14:15 Got off lightly, leave the meeting. Nespresso. Solid writing /development time.
16:00 Screen tests for Space Indians pilot - that's right guys - we've got a Space Indians Pilot.
17:30 Drive home
18:00 Quiet time. (No-one in the house may speak – we find this very relaxing. But sometimes awkward)
18:30 Dinner, usually meat.
19:30 As my way of "giving something back", I usually spend an hour thinking up charitable foundations that don't exist yet; "Survivors of Nepotism" is one that I think could "plug a hole" - as the little Dutch boy said when he put his finger in the dyke!!! (That is not as rude as it sounds, by the way)
20:30 Work on my memoirs for 15 minutes.
20:45 Drink small tin of sweetened condensed milk (for energy) and eat 3 25g bags of "Hula-Hoopz", mixing wet and dry ingredients in the kisser as usual in preparation for my evening exercises:
20:55 I have invented a new "dance-style", which is also great exercise. Someday I might actually get around to making and releasing my exercise video. Anyway, my dance style is a melange of martial arts, tai-chi, jazz ballet and break-dance. It really is very good, and never fails to "wow" people, whether conducted on the dance-floor, or in the privacy of my own study.
21:00 Exhausted, I sink into a Laz-Y Boy Recliner in my private screening room (I converted the laundry, so it is small but intimate). Often I will screen some of The Classics to recharge the old mental batteries. Tonight I screen the first hour of "Mac and Me", and by the time that Mac drinks the poisoned Coca Cola I am so moved that my weeping causes Paquita (still alive!) to rap on the sliding door and ask whether I am OK. Yes, I say, for what is the point of explaining further?
22:00 Answer fan-mail, correspondence, check the internets.
23:59 I lay my downy head on my downy pillow on my downy bed, and switch off the light. But my mind is still whirling with amazing visions!

Well, I sure hope you enjoyed my day as much as I did! OK, more later! Bye!